Open Enough To Be Discreet?

[leiahny]

So are there any females willing to admit their attraction to other females, their desire to be with them, as long as things are kept between just the two of them?

I know there has to be a middle ground...somewhere between being an out lesbian and being a straight female. I can't be here alone in the middle of the road!?

I am so frustrated!

[metoyou (former member)]

ive never been affraid of letting people know that i,m attracted to girls and i,m proud of it,why hide the fact that girls give me great pleasure otherwise i would never meet them.

[pink7doll]

`Your not alone on that one. I could be completely open with the person im with as long as things are kept just between the two of us. Not all people are as comfortable opening up to something like this. For some people they might have to start slowly and be more open as they go, others are stronger and can be open about it right away and some might just always have that kept between themselves and the person they are with. Everyone is different!

[luvs2danz (former member)]

`There are times and circumstances where coming out to others can cause more harm than good. As long as the person you are with knows the reasons they should have enough respect for you to honor your wishes.

My situation is a perfect example of why my female partner needs to be discreet. My ex husband is very anti-lesbian/gay. Where we live the court systems do not feel a lesbian/gay is a fit parent. If he found out about my bisexual lifestyle, he would drag my back into court and take custody of our children away. I would not even get visitation. My attorney knows, she has told me this is the pattern of the courts here and to keep my mouth shut.

Everyone is different and every situation different. The choice to come out or remain quiet is very personal. Only you have the right to make that choice for yourself. Who you are with has the responsibility to honor your choice instead of forcing their own views onto you. If they cannot do that, they do not really care about you.

[leapfromgrace]

`In my instance, I am much more comfortable keeping things between two people. It's not necessarily that I'm ashamed, it's just not an accepted thing where i'm from. (Can you say Bible Belt?)

[deedee70]

`My profession kept me "in the closet". In life, you can't have everything. Choices have to be made. But having a discreet relationship and keeping a dream job is possible..

[fetelerele]

`When I was with my ex girlfriend we didn't keep things discreet in that fact we held hands in public. But where I live that could simple mean we were good friends. However we didn't kiss in public, because both of us we not 'out' yet. I'm still not out, but my ex-gf is. She hasn't told her new gf who her ex (me) is, as she respects that I'm not ready to be out.
It's weird to think that I still want a girl/girl relationship but keep it quiet.

[sweetthang3215]

that just got to me.... I am in the middle of not knowing what to do. I desire to love and be loved by a woman but know that my family and friends would never understand let alone accept it. Is it worth loosing my family,friends and children over? I guess at some point I will find out. I only hope it will be worth it in the end.... thanks for reading

Torn between family and reality of who I believe I am..

[lezzyfemm101]

`Im 50 /50 on this. Im kinda dont ask dont tell. I've had people ask me and when they do im honest, why lie? If there asking then that means that they kinda already know. But there are some people in my family whom I feel would be dissapointed if they found out I was gay. Im kinda the one that that never dissapoints. Then again, I have never found anyone that I felt was worth while as far as coming out. I think If I were to fall in love I just wouldnt care. I havent found anyone worth the risk.

[pixie69 (former member)]

`I am too in this situation, I want to be 'out' but would loose family and friends, it would also affect my work as a massage therapist in a tiny fishing village that has ery old fashioned views. I should say I am married, but we live as brother and sister, he totally supports me as does my teenage daughter, but my youngest son and elder son dont know. I did have a gf for 9 months, but she found it difficult to relax in public even when we went out far from home, its a very tricky situation to be in, wanting to hold hands and kiss the person you love but cant because of public opinion.

[littletnt]

`I came out to my mom 5 years ago, it was very hard for me to do. My family on my mom's side knows only because my mom told them. As for the other side of the family they do not have a clue, and that is because my dad is embarrassed to tell them & because I have 3 children. They are very old fashioned! It is not like I shout it at the top of my lungs. It is a subject that is touchy in our family only because one of my older brother was gay, got AIDS and died about a year ago. I am open at work, but even my ex-husband does not know. It is hard being in the closet, I can eat you alive! Good luck in your decision.